What do you mean, I'm the grown up?
Growing up is not as fancy as I once thought it would be.
Turns out, my grown up universe of music, costumes, and fun gigs on the horizon is currently being combined with real life decisions not previously indicated in my score.
Parents, AGING Parents
There are no rules on how to do things RIGHT;
how to make things FLOW without any
BUMPS or BRUISES;
no TIMELINE, no PREDICTIONS.
How does this specifically apply to you, the young artist hitting the big time?
Well, I can only speak for myself, but I’m very grateful that I followed my gut instinct and prepared ahead. I could not have predicted what would be on the other end of my preparations, but, I guess that’s the point.
YOUR PARENTS & MONEY & HEALTH
As YOU are saving, and making sure that YOUR MONEY is GROWING, please have an undeniably uncomfortable conversation about:
YOUR PARENTS’ WISHES
for managing
THEIR MONEY
and
THEIR QUALITY OF LIFE
if they are
UNABLE TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR THEMSELVES.
My conversation with one of my parents went a little something like this:
- ME: Do you still have debt?
- ME: Have you updated your WILL?
- ME: Power of Attorney, Health Proxy, Health Directive....do you have any of these so that I can legally make decisions if you are no longer able?*
After a lot of “discussion” these legal updates went into motion. If * the time ever came, decisions could be made based upon written requests, and not emotional guess work by me, or the province.
PARENTAL DEBT
Probably the hardest subject to broach due to the myriad of conflicting information regarding the inheritance of parental debt. An hour with their financial lenders could make life easier by simply having confirmation about what goes where, and who will be responsible for what.
Peace of mind: Done.
Clearing debt with a financial trustee may be something to investigate if needed; lessening the chance of finances becoming a burden down the road. As well, a saving plan for future move(s) and related expenses means that loved ones are the focus, not the bills.
QUALITY OF LIFE
WHERE and HOW do they want to LIVE if it ever gets to the point that they need more daily assistance than first predicted,(p.s. you can’t predict this) and how will THEY / YOU pay for it?
A potentially awkward conversation to be sure but, if push comes to shove, and the decisions need to be made within 24 hours (under the strain and emotional stress that poor health, and family situations may foster) I say feeling awkward is a pretty good option.
SIBLINGS
I am a catch 22 by virtue of not having siblings. On one hand, it’s easier because there’s no question about what will happen with finances, health, and living situation. On the other hand: I am the decision maker, signature signer, and faxer of all things official...now where did I put the rule book?
If you have siblings (and/or aunts and uncles etc.), having a group discussion with your parents about:
WHO can best manage WHAT
...may create an easier transition for everyone. At this point I would advise passing around some food and drinks. Money talk (can) get people riled up (or so I’ve heard). Having something to shove into their pie hole, ie: pie, can’t hurt.
Admittedly, a big topic for a gal who likes to sing, wear pretty gowns, and yammer on about blogging but, I write about what I know. Right now, along with scores and coachings, flights and house sitters, this is the sub-text for the role I play in real life, about 20 years sooner than predicted.*
Thanks for reading.
Now go get some pie,
talk to your people,
and get’er done.
