It starts with an N and ends with an O
A few years ago, I did a dream audition where the conductor offered me gig right on the spot.
“Yay!”
...I said to myself, shook his hand, and prepared to get out of the room before I did something stupid and lost the gig. In my excited flurry, gathering up my music, he said,
“...by the way, have you ever sung...VERDI....?”
(Uh oh)
“Why yes I have...umm...just a wee part, though....”
“Hmmm.....I’d like you to take a look at this and tell me
if you’d consider that as well. I think the colour of your voice would suit it perfectly.
You don’t have to tell me today.
Call me in a month after you’ve sung through it a few times.”
Saying NO
As a singer (any age, any level): When do you know WHEN to say NO?
We all want to build up the resumé, meet the right people, and perform amazing rep....but,
What has the potential to hurt you more?
1.Saying YES to something you’re NOT ready for or,
2.Saying NO and possibly losing out on a “big break”
We’ve all done it! And, fortunately, if you don’t learn from the first disaster, most likely (ding!) opportunity will come knocking again. I once said,
“Sure, I can do the two soprano songs for the last 4 shows...it’s not that high...”
For those of you who know me, a soprano I will never be, but as a 20 something mezzo looking for a break, I thought I might lose the gig all together if I wasn’t agreeable. Trust me, by the time the gig was over (insert tears after every show) I think everyone would have been happier if I had said NO.
See, there are a few things we FORGET when THE WRONG GIG comes along:
1. YOU, and you ALONE are solely responsible for that “YES” so, you’d better mean it.
2. “GETTING THROUGH” a piece, simply isn’t good enough.
3. NOBODY will say, “Tsk, the CONDUCTOR should have known better”
4. THIS IS A BUSINESS! Don’t offer a product unless you really have the goods.
5. YOU and your AUDIENCE deserve a more enjoyable experience.
We all want to be LIKED (a blog topic unto itself). We all want to WORK ($$$). We all want to EXPAND our horizons to create our BEST VERSION OF THE SELF. Being honest, and trusting your instincts however, can be just as important (in the world of professional music) as bulking up the resumé. Be confident that the best version of your talent RIGHT NOW is the most reliable gauge to help you answer truthfully when you KNOW that NO is the only answer.
(back to our story)
After a month of agonizing, realizing that there was NO WAY I was built to sing the suggested #VERDIwaytoobigformetosingnow rep, I finally made the call. To my surprise, the conductor simply said,
“Yeah, I don’t blame you for saying no. You’re probably still too young for that.
That thing is a BEAR.”
Saying YES (too scared to say no) to the wrong gig in my 20’s (thankfully) made a big impression on the NO that needed to happen a few years later. Final conclusion:
Saying NO IS the new YES.
; D
Thanks for reading, and for all of the re-posts on twitter, and FB feeds. #flatteredblogger
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PROJECT YES!
“Just say yes, to everything, and see what happens.”
Hmph....
just say YES....
TO E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
All right, pretty boy....(in a fictional show)...you’re on!
Now, it has only been a few weeks since I’ve tried to employ this mindset of saying yes to everything but, so far I have been pretty successful.
- One really good gig popped into my inbox the very next day (no brainer), YES all around.
- The following day was a super small but, “I’m going to do it anyway” gig which, at the very least, has since clarified exactly what I DO NOT want to have in my life (nothing like a little fuel for the fire).
- And the third was saying yes to an invite to a party, a networking party, called W.H.O.W.
W.H.O.W. or WOMEN HELPING OTHER WOMEN is a Toronto based group (for now) that has caught on like wildfire. Creator, and successful t.v./ film actress, Wendy Anderson’s mission statement:
“I am an artist/entrepreneur - mother - lover - fighter! That’s me. I have a desire to live my life like a hero, take it up a notch, affect some positive action and inspire others. I pledge to get women helping other women. Let’s do this!”
...gives you some idea as to the amount of positive energy that goes into these gatherings. To make a long story short:
- you arrive at her home with a small appetizer and your drink of choice
- you put your name on a $20 dollar bill (optional) and put it into the pot (to be drawn at the end of the evening for one of participants..maybe you!!
- After everyone has arrived (and has had some food and drink) each woman has 2 minutes to present:
- who they are,
- what they are passionate about
- what they NEED to fulfill the project that they are working on and!
- what they HAVE to OFFER to others in the room for their help, their connections, their time.
Nice.
As I continue on my JUST SAY YES (a.k.a. being consciously open to opportunity) JOURNEY, I encourage you to say YES to one thing that you might have brushed off in the past (just one!!!) and do it anyway. You never know, you might end up with a positive outcome that you weren’t expecting.* Even if it’s a bust, at the very least, it might get a laugh. : ))
Thanks for reading and good luck with your PROJECT YES!
*P.S.
For inquiring minds: At the end of the W.H.O.W. gathering, as promised,
a hand went into the pot of $20 dollar bills and drew a name....
(drumroll please)
Yup.
You guessed it, I WON.
Saying YES to a party meant saying YES to opportunity,
and, literally, a handful of cash $$$.
W.H.O.W. is right!
For more information on the amazing women of W.H.O.W click here http://www.meetup.com/WHOW-Toronto/
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