My date with STEVE

THE STOCK MARKET.

In a blog written back in May 2010 I spoke about my frustration with the financial industry and the fact there didn’t seem to be a way for creative folk (ie: people like ME who can only seem to speak in metaphors... with hand gestures.. and possibly a song) to connect with the seemingly unintelligible world of INVESTING. Sorry, I’m generalizing, but *honestly* if I asked you to define:

IPOs * ETFs * EQUITIES * OPTIONS * & * MERs

...I’m sure you (insert me projecting my instincts onto everyone who reads this) would resort to hand gestures as well! No? Yes? Back to my date...

#1 on my list of requests was to have STEVE introduce me to my bank’s

PRACTICE INVESTMENT SITE.

Here I would have an imaginary $100,000 to play with, and could familiarize myself with how the stock market works - minus the risk. More importantly it would be an excellent way to gage my comfort level around:
losing
gaining
patience
and the root of it all...
fear.

Steve told me that the secret to the stock market - really - was to have a crystal ball at the ready (!!!!!) If you don’t have one of those, well, practicing to see how the market really works is probably your next best bet.

#2. I wanted answers, REAL ANSWERS, or COLOURFUL DEFINITIONS to the thousands of acronyms that litter each page or graph. With every answer from Steve I would counter with a statement that sounded like,

“So....this one is like putting all of your eggs in one basket and, this one is like buying one egg at a time from individual chickens on different farms? Got it.”

Please don’t ask me what he was referring to...I have since forgotten and can’t read my notes...

#3. After my 25 minute tutorial - turned into 1hr 15min - I discovered that the STOCK MARKET could be summed up as a very expensive popularity contest. If the market (the people) don’t like what they see in the press about the CEO of a company, POOF! The people sell their stocks (insert: we don’t want to play with you anymore) and the company can financially disappear. Add a positive mention from Ellen or Oprah, POOF! The stock value goes up and that CEO buys a Porsche.

Similarly, if the demand for one resource goes up (Mr. Wheat) then wheat’s friends (farming related products) will all have to act accordingly and meet the demand. If you’re savvy and can see the circle of friends that support Mr.Wheat (check his FaceBook wall) you can make smart choices and “friend” them all into your investment page before the the cost is too dear.

#4. A question from STEVE:

“How did you become interested in the stock market? I
don’t see many opera singers hanging out down at Bay and Front St.”

My answer was that since it would seem that money - quite literally - makes the world go around, isn’t it in my best interest to figure out what that ACTUALLY means? When you visit a foreign country don’t you, at the very least, want to know how to say,

“Where’s the bathroom and how much are these beautiful shoes?”

I want the language of money to be right up there with my knowledge of English and French-ish. Since I already have a good grasp of how to fill up my shoe closet in both of Canada’s official languages, (not to mention being able sing about Magic Flutes in German, or a locket with my lover’s face on it in Italian) I’m thinking that the *money speak* could prove to be equally practical.

Over the next few months I will PRACTICE with my PRETEND $100,000, let you know how I do, and see if the site can really convert an “oh so right brained artist” into a money making GENIUS!!!!!

Wish me luck!

practice investment site: Check out your internet banking page for something similar to RBC’s practice site & free investment consultations.

*as always, a reminder that my money musings are for entertainment purposes only.
Please see a licensed financial professional when making real decisions about YOUR money.

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